June 7, 2020

“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

After the message that God sent us, it was very clear that we should not fear the surgery. The surgery date came and a lot of our family members came the night before for support. We tried to keep Sophia up the night before as late as we could so that she can wake up late close to the time we have to leave the house for surgery. As soon as she woke up it was time to go to the hospital. So, there was no time for milk or anything, we told her we have a doctor appointment. 

We got to the hospital and they checked us in and we went inside to get her ready. We were supposed to wait a half hour for them to take her, but that was not the case. They had some complication with another surgery so Sophia’s surgery and our wait time ended up being delayed by two hours. Two hours no water no milk and she was getting frustrated. I was worried about everything that day. They came in with a type of medicine to get her a bit dizzy so they can take her in and start her IV. On the way to the surgery room we were allowed to walk with her only until a certain point. As we were walking and they told us to stop, my heart stopped. I realized this is it. This might be the last time I see her. I broke down so bad but God was there through John. John was trying to hold it together so much so I can lean on him. I know inside him he was broken into pieces, because at the end of the day no matter how strong he is or how strong his faith is, he is a FATHER.

The surgeon told us before the whole surgery should only take about 1 hour. So, we waited and waited and this one hour was the slowest hour ever. Our eyes were on that door, the doctor should be coming out from it. As soon as we saw him, John and I ran to him, first thing I asked, Is she alive? And the doctor said yes. Everything went perfect and she woke up. Give me 15 minutes and I will call you to get in to see her. I thanked God a million times and we were relieved. We started to call our family to give them the great news and also so they can come to the hospital. 

After 15 minutes someone came outside and called her name so we can see her, but they allowed one member of the family only because she was not in a room yet. She was in a recovery section to be monitored with one nurse. So, John told me to go. The nurse took me to a hallway that is full of people that just came out of surgery, she didn’t need to tell me where Sophia was because I can hear her crying and screaming from the beginning of the hallway. I ran to her and Oh Lord what did I see?  I found my daughter hooked up to dozens and dozens of wires and machines. I couldn’t hold my tears, I started talking to her but all what I hear is her crying and screaming. I asked the nurse why is she crying is she in pain? She said, No, it’s the anesthesia wearing off and she wants you. I started crying and trying to calm Sophia down but nothing was working so the nurse said I think it’s a good idea if you carry her because her heart rate was going up. I said oh please yes but how? How can I carry her with all these wires and the machines are hooked to her? She said don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it. Sure enough, she did and I was able to hold and hug Sophia with all these wires, and as soon as I did she calmed down and stopped screaming and crying. The nurse informed me because of Sophia’s condition they have to keep her in this section for a few more hours so they can monitor her closely and assigned a nurse to be with her till she leaves to her room. She was drugged for all the hours she was there. After she calmed down and slept we started to rotate between John, Angelina and me to be with her. But everyone has to carry her so her heart rate doesn’t go up again. 

After maybe 3 or 4 hours they said she is stable to go to her room and that’s when everyone else can see her. The hospital was our home for the next 4 days. We had a lot of visitors and all the doctors and nurses were super friendly and nice. They had to train me on the G-tube machine and increase her intake of the formula slowly to 500 ml or more before we leave the hospital and also monitor her handling of the amount of the formula. There were a lot of changes that will be taking place now in our lives. First, we have to carry Sophia on our left arm from now on, so we don’t put pressure on the G-tube and hurt her. We have to order a new G-tube and see her GI doctor every 3 months so he can change it. We have to make sure she takes the 500 ml everyday but the majority will be through a slow drip at night while she is sleeping. Every time she finishes her feedings, she can’t ride in car or do anything involving a lot of movement until she digests her food. I was overwhelmed with everything and didn’t know how I can physically do this plus all the therapy we have to go to. I decided to take it one day at a time but I couldn’t stop worrying about it. 

During our stay at the hospital, we had to explain to Sophia what happened to her and what is a G-tube. She was not worried about it. She was calm and did not get upset. She was happy and laughing as if there was nothing wrong or different. Sophia was being her normal goofy self, joking with us as usual. Her reaction at that time being for me was normal, “she is a kid who doesn’t realize what’s going on” is what I was thinking. We went home and I was nervous because of the G-tube. I didn’t want to hurt Sophia by accident. It took a lot of practice from me to deal with it. So that was our routine: we agreed to give her 60 ml per hour (we will know why those numbers are important later) during her sleep of (7 or 8 hours) as well as whatever we can give her later during the day. The goal was to try to get her at least 500 ml, or more, through the G-tube. This way it wouldn’t interfere with any activity we have during the day.

I was still going to encourage her to eat solid food, so in the future we can get rid of the G-tube completely. That was my goal. We were scheduled to see her GI one month after surgery. And glory be to God she gained 3 pounds. We couldn’t believe it. The doctor was happy and we were happy. Thank God this solution to Sophia’s lack of nutrition was working, for now. 

Lesson Learned:

• Cast your fears and doubt on the Lord

PLEASE NOTE – for all of the “lessons learned”, we did not always see it that way during the events that were occurring which are mentioned in the posts. Many of these lessons were learned weeks, months, or even years later when we looked back and reflected on the circumstances.